Is an engagement session worth it?

Photo: Nia Weldon Photo

Most couples treat this as an optional extra, often included in a package they’re not sure they need.

It’s worth doing, and the reason has almost nothing to do with the photographs.

What is an engagement session actually for?

It’s a rehearsal for being photographed together.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you: on your wedding day, a person you’ve met twice will spend eight hours pointing a camera at you during the most emotional day of your life. If that’s the first time you’ve been properly photographed as a couple, it shows. People look stiff. Hands don’t know where to go.

An engagement session fixes that in ninety minutes. You learn how your photographer works, they learn how you two are with each other, and by the wedding you’re not performing for a stranger.

Ask any wedding photographer and they’ll tell you the same thing: couples who’ve done a session are visibly more comfortable on the day. That’s the return.

What do you get out of it besides that?

More than people expect:

• Save-the-date photos. You need an image, and this gives you one you like.
• A photo of the two of you that isn’t a selfie. Genuinely rare, once you check.
• A read on your photographer before the day that can’t be repeated. If communication is awkward or you don’t like the results, you have time to reconsider.
• A lovely evening. An hour and a half where the only agenda is the two of you.

Where should you shoot it in South Jersey?

Somewhere that means something, and somewhere that isn’t the venue.

We’ve written separately about the region’s most scenic spots, and those all work. But an engagement session is ninety minutes rather than ninety seconds, which opens up places a proposal wouldn’t suit:

• Your own neighborhood — the street you live on, the coffee place you go to on Saturdays. These age better than anywhere scenic.
• A working farm or orchard — texture, animals, room to walk, and staff used to visitors.
• A town center — brick, storefronts, awnings, people. Good if neither of you is outdoorsy.
• Somewhere you already go — a park you walk, a bar you like, a trail you’ve done fifty times.

Two practical notes. Off-season and early morning are your friends — an empty location photographs better, and you’ll be less self-conscious. And don’t shoot at your wedding venue if you can help it; you’ll want those pictures to look different from your wedding pictures.

Your photographer will have suggestions and will usually be glad you have one too.

What should you wear?

Two outfits, and let them be different from each other.

One more dressed-up, one relaxed. That variety gives you images that work for different things — the save-the-date, the frame on a shelf, the post.

What actually works:

• Texture over pattern. Knits, linen, denim, suede all photograph beautifully. Busy prints fight for attention.
• Coordinate, don’t match. Same palette, different pieces. Identical white shirts read as a school photo.
• Wear things you already like. Something bought for the session usually looks like it.
• Think about the location. Long dresses are wonderful at the beach in a breeze and difficult in the pine barrens.
• Shoes you can walk in. You’ll move more than you expect.

When should you do it?

Six to nine months before the wedding, in a season different from your wedding season.

That timing gets you images in time for save-the-dates, and it means the photos don’t look like a slightly worse version of your wedding day. A couple marrying in October and shooting in spring has two distinct sets.

One more thing: book the hour before sunset. Every photographer will tell you the same, and every couple who’s seen the difference agrees.

What if you hate being photographed?

Say that out loud to your photographer, at the start.

It’s the single most useful thing you can tell them, and a good one will completely change their approach — more walking and talking, fewer static poses, more time before anything serious gets shot.

It’s also the best reason of all to do a session. The discomfort is worst the first time. Better to get it over with in a park in April than at eleven in the morning on your wedding day.

Frequently asked questions

Is an engagement session worth it? Yes, mainly as a rehearsal for being photographed together. It teaches you how your photographer works and them how you are as a couple, so the wedding day isn’t the first time you’ve been properly photographed. Photographers consistently report that couples who’ve done one are more comfortable on the day.

When should you do engagement photos? Six to nine months before the wedding, ideally in a different season from your wedding. That leaves time for save-the-dates and gives you two visually distinct sets of images.

What should you wear for engagement photos? Two outfits, one dressier and one relaxed. Favor texture over busy pattern, coordinate rather than match, wear things you already own and like, and choose shoes you can walk in.

Where should you take engagement photos in South Jersey? Somewhere with personal meaning, ideally not your wedding venue — you’ll want the images to look different from your wedding photos. Because a session runs ninety minutes, places a proposal wouldn’t suit work well: your own neighborhood, a farm or orchard, a town center, or somewhere you already go regularly.

What if I hate having my photo taken? Tell your photographer at the start — a good one will change their whole approach. It’s also the best argument for doing a session at all, since the awkwardness is worst the first time, and better in a park in April than on your wedding morning.

What time of day is best for engagement photos? The hour before sunset, for the light. It’s the one recommendation photographers agree on almost universally.